Posts Tagged ‘parents’

Teenagers have a way of using our own words and actions to get back at us when they get in trouble. Whether they are in Texas, California, Michigan, Canada or some other place, I don’t believe there is a parent of a teenager alive today who has not wondered if their child hailed from some planet in outer space at one time or another.

It is therefore important that parents realize that when they are speaking to their teens, when they are handing out instructions or discipline, that they have “practiced what they preach” to that teen. I will use a true example of what happens when a parent does this: myself.

 More and more teens are experiencing with alcohol every year. Peer pressure, wanting to appear “cool”, wanting to forget some unpleasant thing in their own lives, every day teenagers succumb to the temptation and many of them get hooked without intending to. What does a parent do? Does he or she yell at the teen while holding a beer in his own hand?

This is my experience with something involving my own teens. I wanted to teach them that drinking can be handled irresponsibly, leading to tragedy if one is not careful. Two were in high school, ages 14 and 15 and one was in the military. My youngest and only girl was at a sleepover at one of her close friend’s house and my son was at his buddy’s house playing video games. I was home, relaxing from a busy week at work and writing assignments on top of my regular schedule. I was having a second glass of wine.

The phone rings. It is my daughter. Her friend’s mother is not there, something I did not know would occur. The mother’s ex-boyfriend had dropped in and the two girls were uncomfortable. They wanted me to pick them up. I said I would be there immediately.

Of course, remember now, I had been drinking. I called my son who was down the street at his own friend’s house and explained the situation. His friend’s brother was 17 and immediately came over to the house picked me up and we were over picking the girls up within just a few minutes. By the way, further sleepovers with this friend were allowed only at our house after that night.

Two glasses of wine might not affect some people, they THINK. This mother practiced what she preached because open and honest communication between parents and teens is a successful tool when it comes to parenting and as Texas is very strict on drinking and driving (something I steadfastly approve of), my own teens and their friends saw an example of what a responsible parent should do under unforeseen circumstances which is ALWAYS have a back up plan and NEVER drink and drive for any reason.

The other important lesson?   Enforcing rules are easier when teens see that parents not only state the rules, they follow them, too.